May 5, 2008

I drank for two days solid this weekend. I feel pretty horrible today. But I managed to write a poem I like very much this morning. My bones feel hollow and I have a nasty cut on my foot that wont stop gushing blood. It is really absurd looking. If I get up and walk around for just a short while it looks like someone was murdered in my apartment. I’ve been trying to keep it elevated.

Tonight Jeffrey Heart is in town and coming over to make spaghetti with me. This sounds nice because I have no desire to drink tonight and it will be a welcomed thing to get my brains fucked out. I want to be held and fucked but don’t want to put the effort into anything right now so Jeffrey is a perfect answer. I like that he calls me honey sometimes.

I texted Jakub too much this weekend while drunk. I feel embarrassed of my behavior. I decided to delete his number from my phone so I’m not tempted to be an idiot for his attention.

Zac German was a sweetheart to me this weekend. He called and texted me often to check in on me. He is such and endearing person. Incredibly tender but not a martyr for it the way some people are when they offer a lot of kindness to the people around them.

My thoughts are not very beautiful or even coherent today. I really wish I hadn’t of over done the drinking this weekend. I suppose this will help me tone down the nightly drinking for a while though.